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It happened on my drive home from the grocery store. When I opened my trunk to grab the bags, I found that a tiny hole in my milk carton had leaked about 1/10th of … Read More

About 4½  years ago I posed myself a question. What if my life was managed and run like the U.S. government? My 21-year-old self put together the following chart, complete with all three branches of … Read More

1. They’re practically free. A tube of 30 ants costs $4.95 with free shipping. And they show up in your mailbox a couple days later. The ant farm itself? About $10. $15 covers everything! … Read More

The other night I had a dream. I found myself as a 20-year-old on a bus with a carefully-selected number of other kids my age. Think Enders Game. We were heading to Cape Canaveral for the big … Read More

Newlyweds find themselves in three distinct stages after tying the knot. 1. The Honeymoon Stage, which consists of a deep desire to be alone with your new significant other and have nothing to do … Read More

Few people realize that the national anthem was written to be sung in 4 complete verses. The first 3 verses ask questions. Can you see the flag? Does the banner yet wave? What is … Read More

From age 1-13, I was physically unable to grow a beard. From 14-18, I had no desire to grow a beard. And, let’s be honest. It would have been patchy. From 19-25, I was … Read More

As I was walking into my apartment complex today, I cut the corner to my staircase and stepped on four cement squares. As I stepped on them, I didn’t break my stride at all. … Read More