Why Dating Gets Complicated After Marriage

May 12, 2014

Newlyweds find themselves in three distinct stages after tying the knot.

The Honeymoon Stage, which consists of a deep desire to be alone with your new significant other and have nothing to do with anyone or anything else.
The Realization Stage, which happens around the 3-6 month mark and consists of a realization that you’ve stopped hanging out with, and lost, nearly all of your single friends. (And you start to become the same person as your spouse, thus becoming “lonely with each other”).
The Let’s Get Back Into Dating Stage, which consists of conversations with your spouse that consist of “They seem kind of fun”, “Maybe we should do something with them some time”, or “I think I kinda like the Wilsons…”, or “We should put on a game night!”
The Dating Stage. In classic Jimmy Fallon Style, I’ve created a Pros/Cons list of entering the strange world of dating other couples: Pro With you and your spouse on the prowl again, you’ve now got two pairs of eyes hunting for that perfect couple to ask out on a date. Con Assuming that a single person is attracted to and has a desire to take out 1/10 of the people he/she meets, the odds of finding the perfect couple turn into 1/100, since you’ve got a 1/10 chance of liking the other guy, and your wife has a 1/10 chance of liking the other girl. It gets a little trickier to find the perfect match… Pro Your dating techniques…expand. Con Since it’d be weird if I asked the girl of the other couple for the double date, I instead find myself “asking out” the guy. Making introductory small talk, feeling out the situation, and going in for the ask just feels…a little new. And since spending the date talking to the girl of the other couple would make everyone feel weird, I basically find myself in a lot of man to man chats during the date. Again…new. Pro Doubles ping pong, doubles tennis, Settlers of Catan, new topics of conversation, Spoons, games other than Speed or Checkers… The new activity possibilities are endless! Con Scheduling & logistics is a nightmare. Instead of two, you now have four calendars, wallets, tastes, and standards to coordinate. Pro After the date, you have someone to talk with about every detail of how it went. Con It starts to sound a little strange when you hear yourself saying stuff like, “I just wasn’t feeling anything…”, “We should give them a second date, I think they deserve it”, “Oh my gosh, I like them so much”, “Do you think they are the ones?”, etc. Just like single dating, couple dating brings with it a new set of challenges, perks, exhilarations, and awkward moments. But even if you suck at it, at the end of the day you still get to go home, hang out with your wife, and remember why you left the dating world behind in the first place.